The Mother Load

So, last week I profiled a news story about a woman shaving her nether regions while driving and reviewed Booty Pop Panties.  And here I am today, lampooning Rear Gear Butt Covers.  I took a test on Freud's theory of psychosexual development today, and now I'm wondering if I'm fixated.  Gosh, I hope not.

All I can say is that when loyal Mother Load reader, Tamlynn C., excitedly sent me the link to this Stupid Product, I knew I had to blog it.  HAD TO. 

Someone has to speak for the dogs.

They say that necessity is the mother of invention, and perceived necessity where no real necessity exists is the mother of the Stupid Products feature on The Mother Load.  This is definitely one of the latter situations.  Rear Gear Butt Covers are adorable little...paper?...cloth?...decorations meant to cover the "brown eye" of a pet's backside, lest the pet in question feel embarrassed and exposed.

I'm not a dog owner so maybe I'm ignorant in the ways of doggy emotions, but I just don't think many canines are feeling "left in the dirt" because of their "unsightly" bottoms.  In case the maker of this product hasn't noticed...dogs don't care.  Dogs put their noses into the the unsightly bottoms of other dogs on a regular basis.  They seem very happy to do this...eager, even.  Poll 100 dogs, and you won't find a single one saying, "If only there were some way to cover my bum."  (My guess is they'd all say, "Woof," but I can't be sure.)

I understand that people like to anthropomorphize their pets and imbue them with all sorts of human emotions and attachments.  I truly believe my cats love the very thought of me.  Does this mean I'm going to start projecting my own neurotic thoughts onto them and buying products they'll never need?  No.

Also, it goes without saying (but I'm saying it anyway) that things that Rear Gear covers will cover Rear Gear if a Rear Gear loving dog owner isn't watchful.  At $5 a pop, that's a pretty expensive and useless diaper...

Some readers have probably noticed (because my readers are smart) that I haven't talked about Rear Gear's purported cat users.  This is because no cat in its right mind would ever consent to wear this product.  I contend that this is because cats have more sense than dogs.  Dog owners, I'm sorry, but it's true.  Please don't send hate mail.  I'll just publish it on the blog.


(Thanks to Tamlynn C. for the heads up on today's Stupid Product!  And for being so excited about finding me a Stupid Product!  I'm excited that you're excited!  Let's all be excited!)