The Mickey Mouse Mind Trick
3 hours ago
Monday, February 15, 2010
Outrageous News: Drug Busts in Septic Tank Truck, Jesus Art
Posted by Sarah Braudaway-Clark at 11:48 AMWhen I started searching for today's Outrageous News story, I found one about 30 pounds of pot being found in framed pictures of Jesus. I thought, there's my story! Thank you, Jesus. A glance around the page, however, drew my eye to another pot related story, that of a drug bust in Arizona where 743 pounds of marijuana were found in a septic tank truck filled with human waste. I knew I had to profile them both.
There's only one thing I can say to the drug smugglers in these stories: I loathe you and everything about you. Okay, two things: I loathe you and everything about you, and nice try. I'm having a lot of fun imagining the thought processes behind these criminal acts.
Drug Smuggler 1: No one will ever think to look for drugs behind these pictures of Jesus! What border patrol agent would dare to desecrate a religious object? I'm golden! As long as there are no drug sniffing dogs, it will work. And really, why would there be drug sniffing dogs at a border patrol checkpoint? Victory is MINE!
Drug Smuggler 2: Nobody likes poop...not even cops. Drugs...poop...drugs in poop...Victory is MINE!
Obviously, both criminals were caught and arrested and all the drugs in question were destroyed. (Gosh, I hope they destroyed the septic pot.) War on Drugs 2, Drug Smugglers 0, Jesus 1, Human Waste 1.
To Drug Smuggler 1: While I can't really speak for the big guy, I don't think Jesus is very happy with you.
To Drug Smuggler 2: May prison food give you constipation.
Labels: Outrageous News
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1 comments:
it's a thing of beauty, either way you look at it...the getting busted part, I mean. Thank you for giving me something to spring on my husband for around-the-table conversation at dinner tonight. ;)
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