The Mother Load

You know what I've always wanted to wear? A shrunken head. I've always felt like we lost something with the advent of modern civilization. Sure, we've got cell phones, and running water, and table manners, but what about the shrunken heads? Why did we have to get rid of the shrunken heads?

If you feel the way I do, you're in luck. Looky, looky! Someone has taken the concept of the shrunken head and jazzed it up for the modern age. Don't worry, though, they're still just as creepy as you'd expect. Check them out here.  Ah, Barbie heads in bottle caps.  Nothing says...gosh, I can't even finish that sentence.  What DO these pendants say?

(I think it's, "Help me! Help me!  Somebody cut off my head and put it in a bottle cap!")

Poor Barbie.  Poor, innocent, plastic, disproportionate and fashion-conscious Barbie.  Who cut off your head, dear?  Did it hurt?  Do you haunt her with your happy little disembodied smile, or are my nightmares the only ones you're visiting?

I had to double check the seller on this, because I distinctly remember my brother decapitating every single Barbie I ever owned.  Apparently, Mikey didn't have any idea of the financial potential involved in his acts of little-brother torture.  Note to Mikey: Dude.

If there's one compliment I can give to this strange jewelry (and that's a big if), it's that it doesn't have reindeer poop dangling from it.  So, I guess in terms of jewelry badness, that's not as bad as it could be.  But when the absence of feces is the only good thing I can say about a product (and let's face it, I can say that about a lot of things), then it's safe to say we have a stupid product on our hands.


(Thanks to Kendra A. for today's Stupid Product idea!)