The Mother Load

I remember a day in the 4th grade when my class was learning about advertising.  Why were we learning about advertising and not history or science or math?  Who knows?  We were given the assignment of creating an imaginary product, then writing and presenting a commercial for that product.

That was the day that a usually quiet and unassuming boy named Cody Driver blew us all out of the water with his Billy Mays impersonation.  Since this was at least 15 years before anyone would ever hear Billy Mays do his infomercial schtick, that was pretty impressive.

The product Cody created was "The Amazing Driver Underwear!" or as he put it: "The Amaaaazing Driiiiiiiiver Underweeeeaaaaar!"  He strode around our desks, enthusiastically shouting the various uses of his invention.  "You can swim in them! You can skate in them!  You can even pick your nose with them!"  Needless to say, he got an A on his assignment.

I couldn't stop thinking about Cody as I checked out the website of this week's Stupid Product.  I think my exact words upon seeing Handerpants: Underpants for Your Hands! was, "Uhhhhhhh...whaaaaaa...are they...ooooooookay."  Just...just...just watch the video.



Handerpants come from Archie McPhee and Co., so they are categorized as a novelty product.  However, as I said in the LED Toilet seat review, being a novelty product does not exempt you from Stupid Product status.  This is true of Handerpants. 

I can't get the image of Cody Driver hawking his magical underwear out of my head when I think of Handerpants.  Both products are undergarments promoted by loud people who say their product can do anything.  The difference between Handerpants and The Amazing Driver Underwear is that Cody was a 4th grader and understood that a good joke is just that.  He didn't actually expect to sell his product to anyone.

I think that's where Handerpants head over into Stupid Product territory.  The video is funny.  The concept is funny.  Ask me to pay 12 bucks plus shipping for a pair, and you've officially become stupid.

Also, I can swim in them.  I can skate in them.  But I can't pick my nose with them.  Archie McPhee, you should have hired Cody.

(Thanks for Jennifer G. for the heads up on Handerpants!)