The Mother Load

Those of you who look forward to my Stupid Product reviews every week undoubtedly realize that this one is two days late. It's late because I was too busy studying for my math final to write it before now.  Also, this product is math related, and I was too busy hating math to want to look at it for more than 30 seconds at a time.  If you thought this paragraph was leading up to an apology, you are grossly underestimating my dislike of all things mathematical.

Before I start lampooning this product, I should say that I have friends who not only like it, but who say they'd buy it.  The good news for them is that I'm a forgiving and generous individual.  Math geeks, you can stay in my life.  You're welcome.

On to the product!

It's called the Pop Quiz Wall Clock, and it's just as twisted and demented as you'd expect something called the Pop Quiz Wall Clock to be.  Each number place on the face of this clock contains an arithmetic problem whose answer corresponds with the number that would be there if this were a clock made by sane people.  You can see it here.

Do you remember the words "pop quiz" from your school days?  These do no induce feelings of peace and comfort (or accurate timekeeping).  For most students, a pop quiz brings with it anxiety, fear, disgust, and the risk of urinary incontinence.  This clock is like that teacher who enjoys springing a pop quiz on her students so much that she practically sings the words as she announces the oncoming misery and then smiles an evil smile while her students squirm.  You remember her, don't you?  She probably has this clock on her wall at home.

According to the makers, if you're not great at quick arithmetic problems, you shouldn't worry.  You should let the Pop Quiz Wall Clock test your skills.  Am I the only one who understands that if you're not great at quick arithmetic problems, all this test will tell you is that you're not great at quick arithmetic problems?  Hi, everyone!  I stink at math!  Thanks, Pop Quiz Wall Clock!

This is the part of the review in which I tell you that my husband, my own, dear husband, would probably give his left arm for this clock.  I'd give both my arms to never have to buy it for him, so for now I'm counting on his love for me trumping his love for math.  It's close, but I think I'm safe for the time being.


(Thanks to Jennifer G. for the Stupid Product idea!)