The Mother Load

Busty, sleep-deprived women, I give you The Kush!



I had seen the Kush before and wondered what the fuss was about. I'm not particularly large in the chestal region (read a column I wrote about it here). I don't struggle with the weight of my breasts keeping me awake or putting strain on my back. When it was presented as a candidate for stupid product status, I knew I'd have to learn more, because it's not like I'm going to try it out. (Okay, it could be fun for target practice or a game of fetch with the cats, but really...when you don't have enough on your chest to hold it in place, it's just not that interesting.)

I polled a few of my more voluptuous friends. The consensus? Amazing concept...craptacular execution. According to my friend Corey O., having something between her breasts would be extremely helpful to her nighttime comfort. Having something plastic, however, would cause her to wake up smelling like, "stinky, old man," and no amount of comfort is worth that. Ah, Stinky, Old Man.  That's a fragrance every girl wants in her cleavage.

All of my bosom buddies (heh) agreed the $55 price tag was ridiculous. According to the main site, the Kush can be purchased for the lower price of about $25, but even that is pretty pricey for a piece of plastic that does nothing more than sit between your breasts. The inventor may have had a brilliant idea, but a pair of rolled up socks would do the trick for free. Other possible alternatives my friends came up with included a toilet paper roll stuffed with cotton, a small stuffed animal, and, ahem, a husband's arm. (I will point out that husbands cost much more than $55, and can sometimes smell like "stinky, old man," so I don't fully endorse this alternative.)

Perhaps if I had larger breasts, I'd understand how life-changing this product is. As it stands, I don't have larger breasts and likely never will, so all I see is a pricey piece of plastic shouting, "Just call me grandpa, and don't mind the smell!"  So, busty ladies, it's all yours.

(Thanks to Jenn P. for the Stupid Product idea.  Thanks to Corey O., Tisha H., and Kaylee for the mucho mammary insight.)