Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Stupid Product: The Boyfriend Body Pillow

Ladies, are you feeling a little lonely?  Are you forced to sleep alone, or do you sleep next to a non-cuddly mate? Do you lie awake at night, wishing you had the one armed, half torso of a man to keep you warm and protected? Do you secretly curse the laws against chainsaw murder that prevent you from creating such a thing?

Well, lonely ladies, you're in the LUCK. The Boyfriend Body Pillow is here to make your desperate dreams come true!  Take a look.

That's right. For much less than the cost of a male escort, (unless you buy the similarly named "Boyfriend's Arm Pillow" at this site which thinks people would be dumb enough to pay $155 for it") you can sleep in peace, knowing your big, strong portion of a stuffed human replica is there by your side, showing you love all night long.

Are there women this sad?  Is there something we can do to help them?  I mean, through two and a half years of post-divorce single motherhood, I experienced my fair share of loneliness, but I don't think I was ever this lonely. Maybe I just didn't know how lonely I really was because I didn't know this product existed, and I would have burst into cruel tears and bought one immediately had I seen it.

Yeah, I don't think so.

I have to give the makers some credit for understanding that if you give this product as a gift, it had better be to someone with a good sense of humor.  I can only imagine the fallout if some dimwitted bride thought this would be a clever bridesmaid's gift to give her single friends.  Somehow, I don't think a product that says, "Sleep on THAT, suckers!" is the best way to express your appreciation to someone for being in your wedding.

If this pillow takes off, it may give the Hug-E-Gram a run for its money.  And it should be noted that, unlike a real man, the Boyfriend Body Pillow doesn't contain a stomach or intestines or any other body parts involved in flatulence, so that's a bonus.

Of course, that's what the Better Marriage Blanket is for, so I wouldn't go trading in your honey just yet.