Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Stupid Products: The "Make-the-Putt Bra"

We women live in a world of bra choices.  Some bras promise to increase a woman's cup size.  Some say they'll turn back time and defy gravity.  Some offer support, while others bind.  Yes, for nearly every bra need, there is a bra to fill it.  (Heh, heh...fill it...get it?)

Moving on!

Unfortunately for some women, there has never been a bra to fill that very urgent, nearly overpowering need to practice their golf short game...UNTIL NOW!

Ladies, I give you, the Make-the-Putt Bra!

Produced by a company called Triumph International Japan, which also made the Chopstick Bra to raise awareness about deforestation and the Post Office Bra to raise awareness about a Prime Minister's attempt to privatize the postal service (and why not?), the Make-the-Putt Bra apparently raises awareness about, um, the negative effects of losing at miniature golf in front of your friends.  (It's not fun.  Believe me.  I know.)

After checking out the video, I have a few questions for Triumph International Japan.

Q: Can I get an interpreter?  I don't speak Japanese.  Thanks.

Q: The model is putting on a bra while wearing the bra.  Forgive my ignorance, but does this mean I'm supposed to have two of these bras at all times?  Do I wear one and carry the other around for those quiet moments when it's time to practice my putting?  If I'm not going to putt on the bra I'm wearing, why make it a bra in the first place?

Q: Are those cups made of metal?  Do you have nipples?  Would you want metal on your nipples?  Stop blushing.  There's nothing wrong with the word "nipples."  Nipples, nipples, nipples.  See?  (And if you would want metal on your nipples, please, keep it to yourself.)

Q: Don't you find your product a bit on the elitist side?  You, country clubs, upper crust.  What's next?  The "Yacht Race Bra" (with built in barnacles!)?  Why not make a bra for us regular folks?  Or is the thought of a "Get-a-Strike Bowling Bra" just too bourgeois for you? I guess I won't hold my breath on the "Nascar Race Track Bra."

Q: Where do we keep the putter?  (Don't answer that.)

Q: How many women do you know who have such a need to practice their putting that they could be helped by your product?  I mean, are there really women in the middle of their workday shouting, "Quick! I need to putt!  NOW!  If only my bra could magically transform!"

Q: I have chesty friends who say a Make-the-Putt Bra in their cup size would make the game extremely easy.  If I were to compete with them in a Make-the-Putt Bra miniature golf tournament using a bra in my size, would I get a handicap?

Final Q: Has your interpreter actually been interpreting my questions or has he just been making fun of my chest this whole time?  Yeah...I thought so.

(Thanks to Karen W. for the Stupid Product idea and to Jauna G. for being a chesty friend.) 


taffi said...

awesome as always!!!

(and isn't it technically more of a bustier? LOL)

Millionaira said...

LOL...seriously dumb stuff!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

I am a golfer and my putting truly needs help. I swear to God if I showed this product to my husband I bet it would be here in 7-14 business days :-) He buys all that crap!

Melinda said...

What a hilarious column on such a crazy product!! You really rock, Sarah -- or should I say putt? :)