Monday, April 19, 2010

Outrageous News: Online Dating, Meerkat Style

Ah, how well I remember the days of post-divorce online dating.  Ah, how I wish I could forget them.  Unfortunately for a lonely British meerkat named Lilly, the trials and travails of online dating are not a memory but a current way of life.  "Single Gray Meerkat seeks freespirited and handsome male meerkat for sunning, sleeping, and Hakuna Matata singalongs." 

Poor Lilly.  She's a lone meerkat living in a theme park in Leicestershire, England, and wookin panub in all the wrong places.  I guess there was a male meerkat all lined up for an arranged marriage with Lilly, but it didn't work out.  No doubt, Lilly was being a little less than genuine with the camera angles in her profile picture...either that or the male meerkat turned out to be a 53 year old, human serial killer.

Lilly's owners have tried finding her a date the old fashioned way...calling zoos...but no one has a meerkat to spare. They now say they're at the "desperate" stage.  This is never good.  You get desperate and then you're sending flirts, hugs, and pokes to every meerkat who happens to view your page.

Lilly's owners are afraid if they don't find her some hot, meerkat love soon, she'll go crazy with loneliness.  You're feeling that, aren't you, ladies?  So not a good place for a female meerkat to be.  Crazy with loneliness=codependent love with the first meerkat who looks your way. 

If you know a nice, unattached, college educated meerkat companion for Lilly, enter your information on Lilly's web page: Meerkat  If you don't know a meerkat and just want to drive her owners crazy with random and meaningless page loads, that's fun too.

Keep your self respect, Lilly.