Monday, May 23, 2011
Oh, Harold. Harold, Harold, Harold. You said we'd all be gone in 1994, and you were wrong. You said you'd be raptured on Saturday, and you were wrong. Is it possible that you just don't know what you're talking about? Can you wrap your mind around the fact that you don't really understand the Bible the way you think you do?
The answer is, of course, no. Mr. Camping is nothing if not persistent in his delusions. Now that the promised judgment has not occurred, the doomsday seer is changing his story. The judgment happened...it just didn't happen the way he thought it would. According to his new teachings, we were all judged on Saturday, but it was "invisible."
God works in a mysterious way...
Despite being completely wrong about the Rapture (twice), Mr. Camping is still (STILL!) 100% certain the world will be consumed in a giant fireball on October 21st. And since the judgment has already happened, he has no reason to warn anyone because we're already damned anyway.
I vote we still keep being nice, even though we all know we're going to Hell in the fall. I also vote that we bump the celebrations of Halloween, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas to September and October so we don't miss them this year. I'd also like to see someone make the world's largest marshmallow, so we can roast it on the big day.
Readers, it's been nice knowing you. I'll keep writing until the end. I will also keep writing after the end, at which point Camping will again be flabbergasted that God didn't do what a mortal said he should. He'll probably tell us that the world did end, and this IS Hell. That's okay.
At least Hell will have the world's largest marshmallow.
Labels: Outrageous News