Monday, May 16, 2011

I must be pretty darned unrighteous, because I hadn't realized until today that the judgment day is nigh.  By nigh, I mean May 21st, and by May 21st, I mean Saturday, and by Saturday, I mean the end of this week.  By judgment day, I guess they mean the "Rapture," at which point the righteous will disappear and the rest of us will be left to face the destruction of the world (while borrowing their cars and toothbrushes and electric razors).

Now, I'm no expert on the Rapture. I had many a Baptist friend in my years growing up in the Bible Belt, but I'm a Mormon, so we all just agreed to disagree on stuff like this.  We shared a belief in Christianity and a love of 80s hair bands, and I guess that was enough for us.  I have no beef with people who believe in the Rapture.  If they're right and I'm wrong, I'll know it the same time everyone else does, I guess.

However, I think it's safe to say that even my most devout of Baptist friends are not jumping on the judgment day world tour bandwagon and believing all of this stuff is going down on Saturday.  That's because they've read enough of the Bible to know that predicting a date for the end of the world is kind of a contradiction of what Jesus taught his disciples. According to Matthew 24:36, HE doesn't even know.  I guess he'll be really surprised when he hears they threw him a party and didn't bother to tell him the date and time.

According to the linked story above, Mr. Harold Camping, the man behind the May 21st prediction has already inaccurately predicted the end of the world would happen in 1994.  This time, though, he KNOWS he's right because it's later and there are gay people everywhere.  There were gay people in 1994, but apparently, they're now more gay and that makes him right.

This Saturday, I plan to do some projects around my current home and finish fixing a fence at the new house where we'll be moving in August because I believe I'll still be around in August.  In the evening, I'll be heading out for a symphony concert.  If everyone in the symphony is still there by the end of the last movement, I think we can all be assured that Mr. Camping was wrong again.

I do hope he'll still let me borrow his car, toothbrush, and razor.  I mean...it's the principle of the thing...

1 comments:

Faycin A Croud said...

Oh, those goshdarn gays! When all the righteous get raptured, they'll probably paint the whole world pink or something!