The Mother Load

I don't like Miley Cyrus. There. I said it. I don't give a flying hairball what pictures she sent to which Jonas brother or what she did with a pole at whatever awards show. I just think her voice is as annoying as her alleged acting ability.

But...

Do you know what I like even less? The television channel that spawned her. The Disney Channel, with the exception of Mssrs. Phineas and Ferb, who are hilarious despite their surroundings and who are available via the library, is not to found in my home. Even if I gave up my TV free life, I would beat the living snot out of my TV before subscribing to that channel.

Why? Because the live action shows are full of tween/teen overactors who make me want to gouge my eyeballs out with a rusty nail. The sad thing is that these same actors often prove to be completely capable of believable acting when paired with directors who don't hate parents. Case in point: Brenda Song. She has played THE most annoying character in the history of Disney on the "Suite Life" shows, yet her turn as a Facebook founder's girlfriend in The Social Network was enjoyable and real.

How do I know so much about actors on a network I despise? Because in the emergency room of our local children's hospital and in the waiting room of my nearest Instacare, the Disney Channel is on all day long.

"That's a pretty scary asthma attack your daughter seems to be having. Let's get some steroids on board and hook her on up to a nebulizer. Also, we'd like to suck some of your life force out of you and give it her. Why don't you watch a little 'Suite Life' for four hours? That'll surely do the trick."

Insult, meet injury.

To her enormous credit, Miley Cyrus appeared on a recent episode of Saturday Night Live and poked fun at her Disney training, managing to use what she learned there to make me laugh.  For the record, I'm giving the actual credit for my laughter to the folks at SNL, but I'm willing to say that while Cyrus is annoying, she's has earned a small amount of my grudging respect.