Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Stupid Product: Denny's Bacon Sundae

There are people in this world who think nothing of eating the brains of monkeys and the eyeballs of cattle.  In some countries, it is the custom to cover certain insects in chocolate and serve them to guests at parties.  Why, billions and billions of people in my own country have chosen to ingest "food" at an establishment fitted with a shiny "M" that surely stands for Malevolence.

While I don't eat the above, I understand that people are different, cultures are different, and we all get to choose what we like and don't like.  But people, there are some things that are wrong in every language, every culture, every time period.

The new Bacon Sundae at Denny's is one of those things.

Somewhere, people sat in a meeting and decided to do this.  Rational, well paid people sat down to brainstorm all the ways they could serve more bacon to the patrons of Denny's restaurants, and someone shouted out, "Hey! I know!  We can make a sundae out of ice cream, bacon, and maple syrup!"

Instead of immediately vomiting all over this person, causing him to run screaming from the room and never, ever suggest another menu item again, the other people in the meeting agreed that a bacon sundae sounded like a grand idea.  I know this because there it is, being served at Denny's.  The vomit free individual probably got himself a raise.

Richard and I saw the special Baconalia menu the last time we ate at Denny's and had the following conversation with our server.

Richard: "So, this bacon sundae..."
Sarah: "Is it..."
Server: (nodding) "It's disgusting."
Richard and Sarah: "That's what we thought."
Server: (shaking head) "I don't know what they were thinking."

Denny's, your own servers can't recommend this product.  That should tell you something.  Also, it's an ice cream sundae with BACON IN IT!  That should tell you A LOT of somethings!

Someday, people in the future are going to look back on this and think of us the same way we think of the chocolate covered bug eaters today.  I can only hope someone has kept a record of this blog so when the future people go back in time to choose a sensible leader for their new society, they'll pick me.

The server at Denny's can be my vice president.


Joshua Cooke said...

So here I am, reading this blog, mere hours after eating a wonderful Maple Bacon Sundae at Denny's. I have to say, I enjoy reading the Stupid Products section, but I emphatically disagree with you, your husband, and your server on this analysis. Bacon is the end all and be all of food groups. Heck, the food pyramid should be restructured around it. This sundae, it is a wonderful concoction. The sweetness of the ice cream is nicely cut by the saltiness of the hickory bacon, and the maple syrup, well, that's the cherry on top of this baby. I dread the day that this wonderful product is taken off the menu. It's right there with bacon beer (hot bacon blended in root beer), chocolate covered bacon, and maple bacon donuts. It's one of those things, don't knock it till you try it? Unusual? Yes. Disgusting? No way. Instead, it's a delightful end to a meal. Give me bacon and ice cream any day.

Sarah Clark said...'s like I don't even know you anymore... :P