Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Stupid Product: The Teva Stiletto

It has always been my contention that fashion designers are really just people who sit at home and think, "What will I make for the lemmings today? Who cares? I could slap my name on a used gum wrapper and people would pay $500 to wear it."  Today's stupid product, the  Teva Stiletto, illustrates this quite well, I think.

A collaboration between the Grey Ant company, run by a New York fashion designer I've never heard of, and Teva, the hiking shoe/sandal company everyone's heard of, the Teva Stiletto is like some kind of awful genetic experiment gone wrong.  It's a "hiking" stiletto that is as useless as it is ugly, and it can be yours for only $330!

The site hocking these worthless shoes advertises their worthlessness in bold letters just above the ridiculous price, telling potential buyers that these are not recommended for hiking or mountain climbing.  I agree.  Other hikers would laugh a girl off the mountain if she dared arrive at the trailhead in these shoes.  The fact that she'd break her ankle on the first incline or fall to an untimely death halfway up is secondary.

In my research for this Stupid Product, I watched an entire YouTube video (which I will not inflict on you) of a woman talking about this shoe.  According to her, people are up in arms because the Grey Ant company slummed in collaborating with Teva.  Am I the only one who thinks the outrage should be headed in the other direction?

Teva is the face of hiking.  Teva is the shoe brand all the other hiking shoe brands have locker pictures of and wish they could eat lunch with.  Teva doesn't just rule the school. Teva is too cool for school.  In other words, Teva is BETTER THAN THIS!  Just watch.

Teva, you make me sad.

There are only two sets of people in this world I can imagine will fork over hundreds of dollars for these stupid shoes: wannabes who think they're models and actual models who can't seem to make it across a runway without falling down.  On that note, I leave you with the following:

This is what fashion does to you, people.  Don't be a lemming.