The Mother Load

Mom, today I learned that the people who developed these worksheets have no idea what ADD means to the rest of the world.

There are people in this world who think nothing of eating the brains of monkeys and the eyeballs of cattle.  In some countries, it is the custom to cover certain insects in chocolate and serve them to guests at parties.  Why, billions and billions of people in my own country have chosen to ingest "food" at an establishment fitted with a shiny "M" that surely stands for Malevolence.

While I don't eat the above, I understand that people are different, cultures are different, and we all get to choose what we like and don't like.  But people, there are some things that are wrong in every language, every culture, every time period.

The new Bacon Sundae at Denny's is one of those things.



Somewhere, people sat in a meeting and decided to do this.  Rational, well paid people sat down to brainstorm all the ways they could serve more bacon to the patrons of Denny's restaurants, and someone shouted out, "Hey! I know!  We can make a sundae out of ice cream, bacon, and maple syrup!"

Instead of immediately vomiting all over this person, causing him to run screaming from the room and never, ever suggest another menu item again, the other people in the meeting agreed that a bacon sundae sounded like a grand idea.  I know this because there it is, being served at Denny's.  The vomit free individual probably got himself a raise.

Richard and I saw the special Baconalia menu the last time we ate at Denny's and had the following conversation with our server.

Richard: "So, this bacon sundae..."
Sarah: "Is it..."
Server: (nodding) "It's disgusting."
Richard and Sarah: "That's what we thought."
Server: (shaking head) "I don't know what they were thinking."

Denny's, your own servers can't recommend this product.  That should tell you something.  Also, it's an ice cream sundae with BACON IN IT!  That should tell you A LOT of somethings!

Someday, people in the future are going to look back on this and think of us the same way we think of the chocolate covered bug eaters today.  I can only hope someone has kept a record of this blog so when the future people go back in time to choose a sensible leader for their new society, they'll pick me.

The server at Denny's can be my vice president.

Mom, today I learned why Carla still gets all the attention.



The good news for me is that this...



Provides a decent way to get back at her for it.



It also may or may not have caused a hospital related person named Jared to have to come fix something. I'm 47% sure I didn't actually cause the problem.



Of course, the moment Jared forgot those wires were attached to Carla's head and accidentally gave it a yank was enough to assuage any guilt feelings I may have had. Thanks, Jared!



I learned that when Carla is sitting like this...



Her brain waves look like this.



But when she does this...



We have a lot more fun watching the screen.



I learned that even though she's cooped up in a hospital room and can't get out, she has a great view.



And finally, I learned that I could improve the view inside the room with a stop over at the gift shop.



I think the card was a nice touch.



So did she. :)

Today's You've Gotta See This video found its way into my brain via one of my closest friends.  Pamela and I had some girlie time one day last week and had the opportunity to compare the messes in our respective minivans.  (Mine was much worse.)  Pam's a mom of four, and you know how many kids I have.

When you have a momly van, filled with all the accoutrements of motherhood, it's good to have a friend who understands.  It's even better to have a friend who tells you about a video like this.  People,  my ride has been "mommed" for a very long time.