The Mother Load

Have you ever been tagged in a post on Facebook? I was...last night. My friend, Corey, thought it was extremely important that I see this little bit of amazingness. I think Corey has her priorities exactly right. I giggled all over this last night and then guffawed again this morning when I decided it was required viewing for my cats. (Bulging eyes and laid back ears get me every time.)

These choir boys should get an award.  Enjoy!



(Thanks to Corey O. of Payson, UT, for sharing this gem with me.)

Ever see something that makes you laugh hysterically even though you're unsure why? This is one of those things. It's been on YouTube for a few years now, but it was only brought to my attention in the last few days, so I'm posting it here for those like me who didn't get to see its silliness when it was new.

This is definitely more fun if you've seen "The Dark Knight" and are familiar with Christian Bale's nearly unintelligible Angry Batman Voice. (We forgive Christian Bale because he's Christian Bale...and because he was so cute in Newsies.)

The closing credits are as much fun as the whole video.

 I mentioned in my Awesome Product post that a) I don't like to sing by myself on a stage and that b) I had managed to do just that at the end of MAT Camp this week.  Not only that, but the moments when I sang alone, I was forced by my fire breathing tyrant of a teacher, Mike Giles, to improvise in the grand tradition of terror inducing jazz music with no notes.  (Okay, he was more cheerleader than tyrant, but still.)

I expounded on the other blog about my experience singing scat for the first time.  To sum it up here..."I can't! ... I did it!"

Not only was I tasked with 4 bars of scat, but I was given a 6 bar call and response section that contained words and no notes past the first 2 phrases.  For someone who becomes nearly paralyzed with fear at the thought of any kind of solo, this is a lot to ask.  But I signed up for the class because I wanted the challenge...and because I have more spunk than brains...so I worked through my issues with the help of positive self talk, a poem I wrote a few years ago, my "swagger and strut" anthem by the same name (as played by Phil Woods), and the generous prayers of my friends.

The following video contains performances from three separate groups, and I'm a member of the first two.  Vocal Jazz is up first, and even though I can pick out every mistake I made, I'm choosing to feel really good about the overall performance.  I'm the dumpy one with the glasses in the middle. ;)  (Can you believe that's me AFTER I've lost 30 pounds? Wow...)

You can choose to continue on to the opera performance, but just know we had a total of about 2.5 hours to prepare.  It's silly and rough, but mostly silly.  If you really want to know, I counted the dance moves as my exercise for the week.  Lame?  Maybe.  But it was fun.

You probably think I put a little too much Weird Al on this blog.  I say there's no such thing because...helloooo...he's Weird Al Awesome Amazing Artist Yankovic.  Also, I say it's my blog, and if I want to make it a virtual shrine to my one true love, then it's my prerogative.  The fact that you guys get to bask in the glory of his music for a minute or two is just a bonus.

This particular song (one of the tracks on his recently released "Alpocalypse" album) is more of a public service announcement to society in general, the internet savvy but gullible part of society specifically.  Trust me, you want to forward this on.

You probably had at least 50 Facebook friends who were convinced they needed to tell everyone that a certain number of Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays during last month happens only once every 823 years and that they were going to get lots of money because of it.  Those are the kinds of people who need this song.  You are the kind of person who needs to educate those kinds of people with this song.

Share it.  Share it now.  The world will be better for it!

I found the Captain Disillusion videos when I went looking for footage of "ghosts" in the Stanley Hotel. If you remember, we were mysteriously drawn there on our way home from Texas last Christmas.  (Actually, I mistakenly thought we could drive home via that route and we ended up in Estes Park, Colorado, for the night.)

Anyway, watching Ghost Hunters videos led to watching Ghost Hunters debunk videos, and that led to Captain Disillusion. This is what happens when you watch YouTube, and it's why there are people who have been missing since YouTube was created.

Since adding all of CD's videos would take a bit more time than I have (I have to plot out at least 3 hours today to pretend to work), I've embedded my favorite. As a psych major one semester away from graduating (I'll mention that at least 4576 times before December), I love the sound psychological concepts he uses to debunk the paranormal on YouTube.

This video isn't so much a debunk as a public service announcement, and if you've ever been on the receiving end of one of those scary prank videos where a face flashes onto the screen and you lose control of your bladder and years from your life, you'll want to watch this and learn.

Then, go watch everything else he's made. :)

I mentioned in my "Look at My Dinner!" post earlier today that I have no love for the TV ad the Corn Refiners Association is putting out. We're in the process of cutting HFCS out of our diet, and according to some reports, simply telling you that in this blog may cause the big, bag corn refiners to put me on "notice." I say bring it on.

I've seen a lot of parodies of the HFCS ads, but I think this one is my favorite because the facts it uses are cited right there in the video. The Corn Refiners Association has studies too...some sponsored by...the Corn Refiners Association. Oh wait...there was that one...sponsored by Pepsico. Silly me.

This is amateur stuff, which just makes me love it more. I especially love how the popsicle keeps changing color. ;)

It's End of the World Week here at The Mother Load! Since May 21st has been declared judgment day, I feel the need to devote my larger posts to this topic, so you'll all be ready for the second coming. I'm just trying to raise awareness here. I'm like a modern day Noah...without the animals or the boat or the beard. (Thanks, Nair Face Cream!)

Because many of you might be wondering when it would be best to panic or repent (whichever you are more personally likely to do), I've found this Onion News Network story on ominous music that you might find helpful. If this report is any indication, we can all have a good time Saturday UNTIL we hear the suspenseful music play. At that point, it will be clear to everyone that judgment is NOW.

So, be aware. Dark undertones...occasional screeching violins...minor piano melodies...these are the signs that the apocalypse has begun. If we get to discordant choir voices singing high pitched cadences of monosyllabic sounds, we're officially toast.

Good luck to you all.

So, Richard has been telling me for ages that I must watch episodes of "A Bit of Fry and Laurie" with him, and I've been telling him for ages that I'll be happy to do that as soon as I have some time. This exchange has always ended with him walking away dejectedly because he's knows as well as anyone that when God was handing out time, I got tripped and ended up in the workahol line instead. (Mmmmm...workahol...tasty!)

So, ages went by, and my longsuffering spouse decided to take matters into his own British-comedy-loving hands. He picked up a DVD of the Fry and Laurie show at the library, presented it to me, and then gave me one of these faces:



Fortunately for him, when God was giving out nerves of steel and hearts of stone, I was again tripped and ended up in the melty hearts line.  We found enough time to watch one whole episode before the library had to have their DVD back, but that episode contained the following bit by Mr. Hugh Laurie.

Maybe all of you knew that Dr. House could sing and play the piano and do funny things in front of a camera.  I was not aware of this.  My upbringing, circa 1988, was apparently sorely lacking.  When the world runs out of workahol, I'll be heading to the library to view a bit more of a Bit of Fry and Laurie.  Of course, by then, DVDs will have been replaced by holograms and libraries will be overrun by zombies.  All the more reason to have a little fun, wouldn't you say?

We're discussing heuristics in my cognitive psychology class, and I was tasked with finding online demonstrations of such for a recent assignment.  For those not in the know, a heuristic is a little trick your mind uses to help you make decisions quickly.  For instance, if you walk into a room and your spouse is lying in a pool of red liquid, the thousands of hours you've spent watching every incarnation of CSI and Law and Order will tell you he's been brutally murdered, even if he's actually just unconscious after tripping over the cat and spilling half made jello.  (I can see why you would think that.  Men don't make jello on purpose.)

The above is an example of the availability heuristic.  The more you have of one type of information, the more easily you will draw on that information when judging a situation.  It's why moms rush to their children when everything suddenly gets quiet.  They've experienced many a disaster in similar situations.  But heuristics can be inaccurate, which is why moms sometimes find their kids have not conspired to destroy the house but are peacefully sleeping on a pile of laundry.

The video below was likely made for a school project, and I think it demonstrates the availability heuristic pretty well.  Moms, listen to Laura.  She is wise beyond her years.

I have a secret.  I love a good Rick Roll. I was a HUGE Rick Astley fan when his song was just a song and not a viral internet prank, so when I get Rick Roll'd, I count it as a blessing and enjoy quality time with the British redhead who's never gonna give me up.

So, when I happened upon this silly video, a compilation of quotes from the Oregon State Legislature that follow the lyrics of Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up", I was tickled.  The fact that they added a little bit of my main man in there was just a bonus.  

Oregon, these are your tax dollars at work.  You should be very proud.

Today's You've Gotta See This video found its way into my brain via one of my closest friends.  Pamela and I had some girlie time one day last week and had the opportunity to compare the messes in our respective minivans.  (Mine was much worse.)  Pam's a mom of four, and you know how many kids I have.

When you have a momly van, filled with all the accoutrements of motherhood, it's good to have a friend who understands.  It's even better to have a friend who tells you about a video like this.  People,  my ride has been "mommed" for a very long time.

I don't like Miley Cyrus. There. I said it. I don't give a flying hairball what pictures she sent to which Jonas brother or what she did with a pole at whatever awards show. I just think her voice is as annoying as her alleged acting ability.

But...

Do you know what I like even less? The television channel that spawned her. The Disney Channel, with the exception of Mssrs. Phineas and Ferb, who are hilarious despite their surroundings and who are available via the library, is not to found in my home. Even if I gave up my TV free life, I would beat the living snot out of my TV before subscribing to that channel.

Why? Because the live action shows are full of tween/teen overactors who make me want to gouge my eyeballs out with a rusty nail. The sad thing is that these same actors often prove to be completely capable of believable acting when paired with directors who don't hate parents. Case in point: Brenda Song. She has played THE most annoying character in the history of Disney on the "Suite Life" shows, yet her turn as a Facebook founder's girlfriend in The Social Network was enjoyable and real.

How do I know so much about actors on a network I despise? Because in the emergency room of our local children's hospital and in the waiting room of my nearest Instacare, the Disney Channel is on all day long.

"That's a pretty scary asthma attack your daughter seems to be having. Let's get some steroids on board and hook her on up to a nebulizer. Also, we'd like to suck some of your life force out of you and give it her. Why don't you watch a little 'Suite Life' for four hours? That'll surely do the trick."

Insult, meet injury.

To her enormous credit, Miley Cyrus appeared on a recent episode of Saturday Night Live and poked fun at her Disney training, managing to use what she learned there to make me laugh.  For the record, I'm giving the actual credit for my laughter to the folks at SNL, but I'm willing to say that while Cyrus is annoying, she's has earned a small amount of my grudging respect.

The vast majority of my readers were not my readers back in January 2010, when Richard and I traveled to Denver, CO, to attend Dani Johnson's First Steps to Success Seminar. You weren't my readers when I profiled her War on Debt program as an Awesome Product on this blog.  You weren't my readers when I took the steps to change my life for the better by plugging into what she taught us.

You're my readers now because of her.  You found The Mother Load because of what I learned from Dani Johnson at that seminar.  Before attending that seminar, I was a former newspaper columnist and a reluctant blogger who hoped maybe someday, somehow, people would find my writing and enjoy it.  When I left, I was a professional blogger ready and able to take the blogging world by storm.  All of you are evidence that it's working. It's happening.  I'm doing it!

When I learned, via Dani's Facebook fan page, that she would be appearing on a new show called "Secret Millionaire", I had one of those very rare moments when I wished we were a TV watching family. Fortunately for me, the full Secret Millionaire episode featuring Dani Johnson is available on her site, so we will be sitting down as a family this week to watch it.

If you didn't have a chance to see the show, you can check out Dani's appearance on "The View" below.  You can find a link to her fan page on my own Facebook fan page.

I saw someone on Facebook comment that without the cameras on them, the millionaires on this show might not be as willing to part with their money. I can't speak for anyone else lined up for this season, but I can say with a surety that Dani Johnson didn't need a reality show and publicity to give away her money.  She does it all the time.  Long before the cameras were on her, I sat in a convention center and listened to her share her incredibly passionate belief that if you aren't willing to give, you don't deserve to gain.  I walked away with a renewed commitment to give now, whatever I can, and to seek for more only with the intention to give more.

This woman has my respect and my admiration, and most of all, she has my gratitude for the impact she's had on my life.  I'm excited that her voice is being heard by even more people, and her message of generosity is being spread through this show.

The magical land of YouTube is already heavily populated with videos of cute and precocious kids singing songs on camera, but I don't think there's a child cuter or more precocious than little Rowan singing this song.  Not until I get my kids on there.

"Kids! Practice! Chop chop!"

I will say I think the song's a bit on the grown up side for her, but it's more harmless than other videos I've seen. And had she chosen a different song, we wouldn't get to see her make THE most adorable face on the planet every time she sings the "Ooohs."

Watch this, and your heart will melt like a popsicle in Southern Utah in July...or June...or October.

Toddlers & Tiaras is not a show I would choose to watch on a normal day, but I had a couple of abnormal ones last week while I was down in bed with some joint pain, so I moseyed on over to YouTube and watched an episode out of curiosity, boredom, and a desire to see something more painful than my shouders. Nothing cures pain like the chance to stare at a train wreck for an hour and thank the heavens your own childhood didn't involve outrageously teased hair and crazy makeup. (And I grew up in the 80s!)

This show is a sad, sad indictment of pageant moms and an even sadder chronicle of the effect this kind of thing has on some of these kids. I'm not anti-pageant. I once judged a pageant and found myself impressed by the poise and talent of the girls who participated. But these were teenagers. And they looked like normal people. And they were competing for money for school. And their moms weren't allowed in the judges area.

I was delighted to see that, so shortly after I watched my first episode of this show, Tom Hanks decided to film a spoof. He and "Sophie" (the adorable girl is an actress named Nikki Hahn) compete their guts out for the chance at a trophy. I've laughed my guts out each time I've watched it.

If you have access to network television, I guess you know about a show called "Community".  Maybe you've even watched an episode or two.  I'd not actually heard of the show before finding this gem, as I haven't had TV since January 2006.  (Do I mention our proudly TV free lifestyle a lot?  It's because I'm proud.)

This clip is not enough to make me give up five years of a very good thing, but it is enough for me to consider reinstating my Netflix membership in order to watch this show on DVD.  You give props to LeVar Burton, and I will love you forever.  That is a fact with a capital LaForge.  I have butterflies in the sky chasing each other around my stomach just watching this.  (Note: I might be persuaded to give TV another chance if PBS reinstated Reading Rainbow.)

LeVar, it's good see you again.  If I ever met you in person, I would react the same way.

(Author's note: I have a very part time job that occasionally requires a few more than part time hours, which is to say that it occasionally takes over my life for a week.  Add to that my actual full time job, a family, and school, and it's Saturday before I'm saying, "BLOG! I HAVE A BLOG!"  So, here you go.  This is what I can pump out in the 15 minutes I have before I start editing Mahalo pages again. You'll see more of me next week...I hope...ohpleaseohpleaseohplease!)

 What I learned today:

 


I learned that when it comes to decorating Richard's car for Valentine's Day, this is all I have in me.



I learned what happens to Cate's hair when she bathes before bed.



I learned that musical birthday candles sound really bad when you don't start them at exactly the same time.  Also, they sound really bad when you do.



I learned that Jr. high classes are not what I remember.



But that the band would like me to join.



And I learned that if they have a problem with the boxing up of people at the Jr. high, I might not want my daughter to go there.

Outrageous News:

My husband turned 34 on Monday, which means we've officially known each other for half our lives.  That's pretty cool, and I feel really old.  A few pictures of my favorite goofball for your viewing pleasure:



Best picture ever.



He's a sucker for kittens.  I'm sucker for guys who are suckers for kittens.



He's like James Bond...if James Bond fought pizza odor with Febreeze.


 






















 Owned and loving it.
























My friend Lis calls this his "Pi-hole" picture.




Juvenile delinquents I used to work with called this his "Gay dancer" picture.




I just call this his "typical Richard" picture



He's so good with the kids...




Is it any wonder I love this guy?



Happy 34th Birthentine's Day Richard. Here's to half a lifetime as friends. I'm looking forward to the rest of it.


You've Gotta See This:

Insert video of Miriam's honor band performance here. Someone who didn't get the time mixed up and didn't walk in just as it was ending, feel free to step right on up. *facepalm* She's said she did a great job...

Stupid Product:

Bank officers at my friend's branch of Chase Bank are poopy poopheads. Chase, you're aptly named, because you chase away your own customers with your ridiculously bad customer service and your nefarious policies. Amy's done with you, and you are dumb with a capital stupid.


Awesome Product:

Red Mango Frozen Yogurt  They have gluten free, all natural, lowfat, enriched with probiotics DARK CHOCOLATE frozen yogurt, and I have a new favorite place for desserts I can actually eat every now and then.  Cold Stone and Baskin Robbins, it's been real.  Put something on your menu that I can feel good about eating and maybe you'll compete.

The Mother Unload:

I did really well.  I've lost ten pounds.  Whole grain pasta is my friend, but only in 1/2 cup servings.  Man, I used to eat too much pasta.  I'd have a 1/2 cup serving as an appetizer to my 2 cup pasta entree followed by a 3/4 cup pasta dessert.  Maybe not that bad...but almost.  (My Italian Grandpa Angelo is thinking, What's wrong with that?)

The Mother Load Column:

Remember when I used to write those every week?  That's funny.

So, there you go.  Only it hasn't been 15 minutes.  It's been 40...and I may or may not have skimped on a couple of those...and I may or may not be worried about what you think of that.

(That's just the lack of sleep talking.  I care!  I care!)

I found this little gem a while back while browsing Failbook.com, a site devoted to screen shots of funny and moronic Facebook status updates. (Warning: Not for those who are easily offended.) There are about as many songs about Facebook on YouTube as there are users on Facebook, it seems, but this one has to be the cutest of all of them. Not only is she right on about pretty much every point she makes, she does it with facial expressions that make me want to set her up with any single male I might happen to be related to so I can be related to her too.

The popping sound the singer makes is her take on the sound Facebook chat used to make when someone wanted to talk to you. I miss the popping sound. *Sigh*

I'm feeling the Weird Al love since reporting on the release of his new children's book, so naturally, I decided to feature the man again in today's You've Gotta See This post.  This is the music video for Al's song, "UHF," a companion piece to his movie of the same name.  The video pays homage to some of the most popular music videos of the 80s, so all you old people like me should enjoy that.

If you haven't seen "UHF," I think it's high time you put it on your Netflix queue, darn it!  I am absolutely sincere when I say that you have not lived until you've experienced the joy of Wheel of Fish, Twinkie-wiener sandwiches, one man's attempt at teaching poodles to fly, and another man's love affair with his mop.  Oh, and Spatula City...we cannot forget Spatula City!

There's a bit of a back story behind today's piece of YouTube fun and wonderment.  Back in 2009, a fellow by the name (screen name?) of Rhete created an online game he called Super PSTW Action RPG on the website newgrounds.com.  PSTW stands for "Press Space Bar to Win," and indeed, pressing the space bar repeatedly is all anyone needs to do to "win" this game.  It's a bit of silliness on the internet, a fine way to pass a few stolen minutes.

In February 2010, a person going by the name "axman13" played the game and offered up an angry review of it, complete with all the elements used by most internet trolls: spelling errors, random punctuation, vitriol, and general idiocy.  A day later, the review landed online as a recorded "dramatic reading" called "Dot Dot Dot".  Earlier this month, someone saw fit to create animation to go along with the reading, and today, I decided to post it on my blog because it's funny.

There you have it.  Gamers gonna game, trollers gonna troll, bloggers gonna blog.