The Mother Load

When I think of the words, "I took a year off from blogging," I can't help but reframe them in the words of a popular internet meme: "In Soviet Russia, a year off takes YOU!"  I think it's because that's the more honest way of stating what 2013 was like for me. I spent a lot of time thinking, "But hey, it wasn't as hard as 2012."  Now that 2014 is here, I'm more able to allow 2013 to be what it was, which was a hard year.

But not a terrible one.  Some of the stresses we endured I can share below, but there are other things I'm keeping close. Suffice it to say that hard stuff went down, sometimes just to people close to us, sometimes to us, and sometimes, the one spilled over into the other. It was hard, but we're okay.

So, here's a rundown of where I'm at and what you can expect (ha!) from me.

We're still here in Layton, UT, still loving the city and our house. Our big goal for the year is to move from renters to owners by buying the house we're renting, and so far, it's looking good. This does not mean we're averse to things like prayer or energy or whatever the positive form of voodoo is. We are. Send them our way.

Best part: The Whomping Willow out front.

Your last Miriam update was that she'd been seizure free for a few months. I'm happy to say that she's been seizure free and without any of her previous neurological symptoms for well over a year now.

Follow ups at Primary Children's mean she still gets ice cream, though.

Aaron hasn't been so lucky. :(  We're still trying to get him seizure free for longer than 6 months so he can resume learning to drive and hopefully remain seizure free for life. After his latest seizure following Christmas break, he's gotten very serious about taking his supplements and drinking his milk every single day.

He's equally serious about iPod solitaire.

Cate got all grown up on me, which I think you'll all agree is entirely uncool.  She wears contacts now and takes cake decorating classes and dreams of being the next Cake Boss.

Slow the heck down, little woman!

Evelyn thinks she can grow up too. She carries around a viola case half her size and points out her womanly muscles every chance she gets.

Don't think music is going to save you from my mom wrath, kid.

Michael had the audacity to turn 9 last November. These days, he's all about food and Scouts. Scouts and food.

And food.

Richard fully committed to beardliness which is, as you know, next to Godliness. This blogger will tell you more about how she feels about his beard when she stops fanning herself.

Hubba hubba!

As for me, I still work from home for Datawise, but now I also work a few nights a week at a treatment center here in Layton keeping watch over troubled teen girls while they sleep. I'm also now a third of the way through a masters program and will have an MS in counseling in early 2016. I also haven't exercised or eaten healthy in...months... Oops.

Compensating with cute glasses, big hair, and flattering camera positions.

On the pet front, we had some sadness. We had to say goodbye to our sweet Psyche on New Years Eve. She was old when we got her, but we'd hoped to have a good 10 years with her. It wasn't to be.

Sweetest sweetie cat.

It's hard to know if Quill and Isis understand her absence from the house. They're a comfort to those of us who do, anyway.

You two must stay 10 more years. You must.

We very recently lost our beautiful niece, Stacey, who went home to God at the much too young age of 30. I'm not ready to say more because I still can't say anything about it without crying. Just know she was beautiful and wonderful and ours for too short a time.

Love you forever.

This year hasn't been all hard stuff and growing up. We had some fun times too.  We traveled to Texas and converged with all my siblings for our parents' 25th anniversary.

25 Years on Braudaway!

We made an impulsive trip over Labor Day weekend to Idaho just to say we'd been to Idaho. Landed at the State Fair. Fun and hijinks ensued. Also, hey...we've been to Idaho.

Black sheep...hijinks for sure.

We discovered the magic that is downtown Ogden, UT, and have spent many a magical hour there.

Historic 25th Street: Zombies welcome.

In November, Richard and I stole away to the Anniversary Inn for a much needed and long overdue night away. We asked if we could live there for good, but they just backed away slowly.

But really...can't we just move in?

So, I think I mentioned above that I'd tell you what you can expect from this blog in the near future. The only honest answer to that is that I'll be blogging but can't say how often. After a couple of stressful years, I've realized I didn't do myself any favors by NOT blogging, so I'm committed to keeping this outlet available. My blogs keep me grounded, centered, and surprisingly happy even when times are tough, so my hope is to just keep up even if the unexpected arises because I'm better off if I do.

Thank you for that.

Blog posts for the last couple of months have been less consistent than in the past, so I thought I should bring my readers up to speed (as much as I'm willing and able) on what's been going with me.  Currently, it's one in the morning, and I'm feeling so ready to get things of a blog nature back on track that I don't think I can go to sleep until I've posted this.

Exactly two months ago, my little family went into full on crisis mode as we dealt with an emotional roller coaster related to my oldest child, a son who has struggled all of his life with a condition called Velo Cardio Facial Syndrome.  Never heard of it?  Of course you haven't.  Neither has anyone else except parents of kids with this genetic disorder and the medical personnel who study it.  (I'm not employing hyperbole here.  There are plenty of doctors I've met in my travels who were introduced to VCFS because I told them what it was.)

To give you a quick rundown on VCFS, I can say that it is caused by a deletion on the 22nd chromosome, is present at birth, afflicts 1 in 2000 babies born in the US today, and has a spectrum of about 100 symptoms that can occur to any given child with the syndrome.  For most VCFS kids, those symptoms include heart problems and speech delays.  Some children face problems with their immune systems.  Most develop learning disabilities and lag behind their peers both socially and academically.  In the teen years, mental illness becomes the symptom to watch for.

For my son, Aaron Ray Jr., VCFS was diagnosed at 5 months, just a month after I carried my weak and wimpering baby into a small emergency room in Kanab, UT, and told the doctor that something wasn't right.  She agreed, and we were lifeflighted to Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake, where I would spend the next three days hovering over a child I was told was very sick.  Aaron had a silver dollar sized hole in his heart, a hole that produced a murmur so loud, we were met with what seemed like a nonstop parade of medical students asking if they could hear it.

Aaron's heart was repaired when he was 13 months old.  At 3, we knew the speech delay related to VCFS was affecting him.  At 4, he had surgery to repair his palate and finally began to talk (and has literally...no really, I mean that...not stopped talking since.)  In school, he received speech therapy but seemed to be beating the odds academically.  In his 13 years, I've tried hard to treat him as a normal child, giving him my love and encouragement and hoping always that the more scary aspects of the disorder would pass us by.

Over the last year, as puberty has set in and the demands of middle school have overwhelmed Aaron, it has become clear that VCFS is still with us and that the symptoms that can appear during the teen years have not missed my son.  The words I have dreaded with all my heart since the day I first saw them related to this disorder are now a trial our family has been called upon to face.  A mental illness we are still trying to diagnose is Aaron's newest VCFS symptom, and we've spent the last two months coming to grips with that fact and struggling to find him the treatment that will help him cope with it.

As a student of psychology, I know, cognitively, that there is no shame in having a mental illness.  When a person's body stops regulating blood sugar levels, people don't wag their fingers and shake their heads.  When a person develops a cancer or deals with hypothyroidism or needs an inhaler for asthma, the world doesn't stigmatize it.  As a student of psychology, I know that mental illness is much the same.  The brain as an organ is just as susceptible to illness as any other, and with the addition of an unfinished chromosome, it's more so. 

As a mother, facing a world full of people who look on mental illness as a blight, it's not so easy to remain objective.  As a mother who has worked for 13 years to help a son with more struggles than most, it's a struggle I'm not always sure I can bear.

My last Couch to 5K post highlighted some of the challenges I face in my quest to run.  I wrote that post ready, willing, and able to overcome every one.  I wasn't prepared for this one.  I have not run since shortly after our world turned upside down due to behavior problems related to Aaron's disorder.  My last run was on April 6th.  When race day came, I was still treading water, passing billboards for the event and feeling like my 5K plans belonged in another life.  I did not run it. 

A few weeks ago, I began to think about running again, wanting desperately to pick it back up.  While life is still stressful and many things are still undecided, we had seemed to settle into a rhythm with it all.  I chose to look at my month away from running and my missed race as a bump in a much longer road.  I decided the best way I could turn defeat into victory was to get back on the road and start again.

To my dismay, shortly after that decision, I began struggling with a new medical difficulty of my own, namely, the attempted mutiny of my reproductive organs.  Maybe they're tired of the stress I've been carrying and have decided to go crazy to get my mind off of other things.  Either way, I've spent the last few weeks struggling frequent bouts of pain and discomfort and overcome by sometimes crippling fatigue. At one point, cancer was on the table, but I'm grateful to say a biopsy showed all was well on that front.  I have a surgical consultation this month, and if we go ahead with a surgical solution to my current problems, I've been told I won't be allowed to run for 6 months.  I truly don't know how I feel about that.  I think I hover somewhere between deep sadness and reluctant relief.

So, there you have it.  Confessions of an overwhelmed mother who is taking things a day at a time and hoping for the best.  Through it all, this blog has been an anchor.  I appreciate so much the readers who keep me writing.  I love reading your comments, whether on here or on Facebook.  They help me to know that what I write means something to someone, even if it just means I've given them a laugh for a moment of their day.  That brightens my days, even the ones I don't know how to endure.

Thanks for sticking with me, and here's to whatever is next.

Sounds like a soap opera, doesn't it?

As you saw in this post, I attended a seminar this weekend with the hubster, learned a ton, and came up with some great ideas on how to enhance and improve what I do here. I'm crazy excited (emphasis on the crazy, or course) to share with you some of the changes I'll be making to The Mother Load in coming weeks.

First, the Awesome Products feature will be going from monthly to weekly. I've had so many submissions for Awesome Products that they're stacking up, and once a month only comes around once a month. As much as everyone enjoys laughing at the Stupid Products, it seems like my readers enjoy learning about the awesome ones even more. I'm still working out the day Awesome Products will run, but I've got a pretty amazing product for my first weekly feature.

Stupid Products will keep its Wednesday slot, so keep those submissions coming. Outrageous News can stay or go. I don't feel strongly either way. If you love the feature or hate it, let me know. I think for me, it's sometimes hard to slog through all the petty "news" stories to find the one I'd like to feature. However, when I do find that one, I have a lot of fun writing it.

Beginning this Sunday, I'll be hosting a weekly blog carnival in which I'll feature the writing of other bloggers.  My aim here is to help fellow bloggers find success as I seek for it myself. If you're a blogger and would like my readers to read your work, submit your best post to The Mother Load Carnival of Writers by Saturday, 9:00 AM EDT each week. This carnival is open to all writers, both aspiring and professional, so send in those submissions and increase your site traffic!

Along the same lines, I'll be posting a new monthly feature in which I will profile a blogger I think people should be following.  I'll likely find many of these bloggers in my carnival submissions, but if you know of a blogger that should be highlighted, send a link to motherloadsubmissions@gmail.com.

I have another idea in the works that's still so deep in the early stages that I'm not sure how much I want to say.  It involves Race for the Cure, and I'm nearly bursting with hope and excitement over it.  I'll post more as I get more figured out.

Thanks so much for your continued support and commitment to The Mother Load.  I respect and admire all of you and am excited to keep writing more of what you like to read.  Keep sending in those submissions and inviting new fans.  Here's to a bigger, better Mother Load blog!

Now that the headstand is up on youtube, I'm ready for a new fan goal.  This time, I'm going for 500 fans by Valentine's Day.  I'm looking for suggestions on what I can do if I succeed.  Run a mile? (I don't run for anything...not even cake!)  Hold a tarantula?  Kiss a snake?

One fan suggested I eat a bug or dye my hair a crazy color.  I'm here to say that as much as I love you guys, bug eating is never going to be on the agenda.  If the end of the world is here and I have no other food, sure.  Just to get more readers?  Not so much.  I will, however, be talking to my boss at work to see if blue (or purple or pink) hair would be a problem.

The best way for me to acquire new fans is for you guys to tell people about The Mother Load and invite them to read it and be fans, as well.  So, if you like what I've posted so far, spread the word!  Let's make our goal!

(Let it be known that even if I don't make the goal, I will be kissing a snake on Valentine's day.  It's what happens when your husband is born in 1977.)

Just about 24 hours ago, I noticed that I was a mere 9 fans away from reaching the 100 fan mark on my Facebook fan page.  Feeling saucy and a bit delirious because of the late hour, I challenged my fans to find me 9 more.  If I made it to 100 fans by New Year's Day, I would post a video on youtube of me singing the National Anthem while standing on my head.  As of 9:30 pm this evening, 17 new fans had joined the page. 

Fans, you rock!

I don't have a video for you yet, but I can tell you one was made and will be emailed to me in the next day or two. I learned a lesson tonight.  I don't have the first clue how to do a proper headstand!  When I made the challenge, I kept thinking I'd done this before.  Apparently, I have not.  I think I just remembered my mom losing a bet and doing this and figured if she could do it, so could I.

Mom, I am not worthy.  All I managed to do on my own was put my head on the floor and my butt in the air and laugh hysterically.  I did this in a packed bowling alley, where I'd gone for a Girls' Night Out with my MOFia friends.  (More on the MOFs here).  A couple of my more nimble sisters demonstrated the art of the headstand for me, but all that taught me was how thin, flexible women with good core muscles do a headstand.  A couple more failed attempts later, Lara and Meagan (or was it Malisa...it's so hard to know when all you can see is carpet) each grabbed a leg and held it on the wall while I screamed/laughed/sang the first few bars of the "Star Spangled Banner."  Alas, we didn't manage to hold the position for much longer than "twilight's last gleaming."

I'll be putting the video of the failed attempt on youtube and posting it here, but I'll also be going back to the drawing board to do it again and do it right.  We made a deal, and I intend to keep my end of it...even if I have to hire someone with a waterproof camera and do the headstand in a pool.  I actually have an idea that involves wrapping my feet around the pipes that hang from the ceiling above my bed.  I'm also considering wedging my toes in the hanger rod in my bedroom closet.  As Blogger is my witness, fans, you will get your video!

More than anything, though, I want to say a big THANK YOU! to all the Mother Load fans who spread the word and helped bump my fan base up!  Keep it up.  Once the headstand videos are up, I'll make the next fan goal...500 this time...and I'll let you guys suggest what crazy antics you'd like to see me perform.  (I really, really, really hope you don't ask me to eat a lot of chocolate...or sushi...or cheesecake.  That would be the WORST!)

So, to sum up:  Headstands are hard!  You guys came through.  I'm working on it.  Please know, I wouldn't stand on my head for anyone else in the world.

Except maybe Weird Al...

Or Will Smith...

Or the ghost of Gene Roddenberry...

Well, hello there!  Didja miss me?  You did?  Awww...that's nice.  It was wonderful to take a few days off from blogging (and most everything else) to enjoy the holidays.  And now?  Back to the grind!

Monday, you can expect the usual Outrageous News story.  Wednesday, I have a Stupid Product sent to me by my friend, Jennifer, that will make you question your place in the universe...or maybe just laugh a lot.  I'll also be posting a Stupid Awesome product review.  I can't decide which it is, so I'm left with no alternative but to put it in both categories.  I thought when I first saw it that it was straight stupid, but then I spent four and a half hours hiking the Zion Narrows and realized I could really use it!  What the hey, right?

Speaking of the Narrows, I'm settling in tonight to write a column about that experience.  Pictures will follow once we finish up the roll in the disposable camera we took along with us.  (I was too afraid I'd break anything more valuable.) 

Also coming this week...maybe tonight...a new You've Gotta See This video.  It will probably involve my sister, Carla.  You'll thank me after you've been resuscitated after dying from laughter.  Merry Christmas to you!