The Mother Load

Published December 28, 2008
St. George Spectrum & Daily News

Thursday is the first day of a brand new year, and while I know there are many of you out there wondering where 2008 went (and even more wondering where 1988 went), there’s no going back. It’s time to make resolutions, so sharpen your pencils and start making that list. I’ll go first. #1 Uhhhhhhhh.

New Year’s resolutions are kind of hard to make when you’re on year three of achieving everything on your list. I don’t mean to brag, (oh, but I do) but when you accomplish what I’ve accomplished in just one year’s time, you kind of set the bar pretty high. This year, I resolved that I would marry my best friend, move, transfer to a bigger school, bump my schoolwork up to full time, all the while working a full time job and maintaining an A average. The resolutions? They are in the bag.

This year, like every year, I’m faced with the problem of either sticking with the same resolutions, which are pretty hefty in and of themselves, or topping the previous year’s achievements. Look again at what I’ve managed to do this year. HOW do I top that? If you’re not one to tempt fate, you don’t realize the problem inherent in asking that question. I am one to tempt fate, and I still asked the question, and fate had the answer with a sucker punch to my right knee.

No, really. Fate took out my right knee. With no more than a moment’s warning, the universe said, “Sarah, I have your resolutions for this year, and they involve surgery and at least 6 or 7 months of physical therapy. Are ya up for it?” Those who tempt fate know that when fate asks a question, it’s ridiculously rhetorical. Before I could answer with a resolute, “Um…no?” my ACL snapped like a cracked rubber band and all I had to say for myself was, “Haaaaooooooly gaaaaaaaaahhh! What just happened?”

I’m here to warn you. If you actively pursue wisdom and growth, life will give you wisdom and growth, most often of the painful variety. If you decide you’ve grown and struggled quite enough, thankyouverymuch, life will NOT get the message. I blame Einstein. He theorized that an object in motion tends to stay in motion and someone in the growth department at the universe said, “Hey! That’s not half bad! Let’s see what we can do with that.”

The contrarian in me wants to rebel, but the rest of me has experienced enough growth and gained enough wisdom to let the rebellious part of me go (darn it all!). Having had enough of these character building experiences in the past tells me that I have to take this character building experience for what it is...a blessing, a challenge, and a preparation for the next character building experience life throws at me.

But I don’t have to take it lying down. If the universe wants to write my big resolution this year, I’ll let it, but the other ones are mine. ALL MINE! DO YOU HEAR ME, GROWTH DEPARTMENT? YOU DON’T GET TO HAVE THE REST!

So, this year, I resolve to have my ACL replacement surgery, work very hard in physical therapy, and climb to the top of Angels Landing in Zion National Park in August, and stand there, triumphant, having overcome my injury while working and going to school full time…with an A average, to boot. I ALSO resolve to, uh, get my hair cut every eight weeks, um, use my new Kitchenaid mixer every time I make a cake, and…and…SMILE AT STRANGERS EVERY DAY! Try to top THAT, universe!

No, wait. Just kidding. We’re good.