The Mother Load

Published October 7, 2007
St. George Spectrum & Daily News

Before we begin this edition of The Mother Load, we'd like to ask my editor, Kathryn, to offer a word of prayer.

Is it me, or is it Sunday in here? Why, yes. I think it is Sunday in here! After nearly seven years on the pages of the Saturday Spectrum, I'm still a little shocked that my beautiful brainchild is here in the Sunday paper. I mean, this is big news, isn't it? It's the big paper, you know. It's bigger than all the other papers. I had a paper route when I was 11. I can totally vouch.

It's actually so big that I can't seem to share the news without being completely obnoxious. Sometimes, I giggle uncontrollably. Other times, I dance around like a toddler in line for the bathroom. The other morning, I actually burst out with, "Read The Mother Load...direct to you at craaaaaazzzzzy, discount prices...only on SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAAAAAAY!" I may be a little excited. What do you think?

I got the email notifying me of the switch last week. On Saturday, I awoke and pictured thousands of Mother Load readers opening their papers and staring in consternation at the Southwest Living page, saying to their spouses or children or 25 cats (whichever the case may be), "Oh no! Where's my favorite column? What will I do without my Saturday morning routine???"

I hope most of those unfortunate people found The Mother Load, safe and sound, the following morning. I thought about making an official announcement in this particular Mother Load, but soon realized that the only people who would read it would be the people who have already figured this out. It would be like saying, "Attention Readers: You're reading right now. Don't know if you realized. Wanted you to know. Reading...that's what you're doing...right now. Good for you."

I've had a few people ask me why my column has moved to Sunday. To be honest, I'm not sure. Perhaps there was a space issue. Perhaps it conflicted with something else on the page. Perhaps it's just a great, big, ball of awesomeness and no other paper but Sunday's can fully reflect that awesomeness. It's a grand delusion, and those are the best kind. I think I'll keep it.

Whatever the reason, Sunday is now where you will find my voice. I really like it in here. The comics are all colorful and big. There's an insert full of TV listings (if I had cable, that would be very handy). And, seriously...have you SEEN the coupons? What's not to like? You get me, my good buddy, the Wizard of Id, and a buy one/get one free deal you wouldn't believe. I'm telling you, this is a match made in...

Okay, okay...let's not push our luck here.