The Mother Load

Last week, I posted a video that had such a potential for disgusting people that I offered multiple warnings before embedding it.  People, I've found something more disgusting than an exploding whale. It's even more disgusting than the Candwich. Today's video is more disgusting than an exploding whale eating a Candwich while cuddling a placenta teddy bear. (Aw! Placenta teddy bear! First Stupid Product ever!)

I'm not warning you away from this video. In fact, it's something I think every man, woman, and child in America, nay, the world, should see.  What's disgusting is the realization that the happy meal you ate as a kid is probably floating around in your intestines, pristine as the day you ingested it.



The most oft quoted Mother Load line in my house comes from an Outrageous News story I posted about a UK mother suing McDonald's over a cigarette in her child's meal. Richard likes to say, "Your honor, my client is suing the defendant because they put something toxic and thoroughly unhealthy in her very small child's meal." "McDonald's food?" whenever one of the kids suggests we eat at the alleged restaurant.  Those words have never felt more true.  After watching this video, I think our language will be a bit stronger.

They blew up that whale because it was rotting, as dead meat is wont to do.  They should have just taken it to a McDonald's.

(Thanks to Michelle E., of La Verkin, UT, for alerting me to this video.  Michelle runs Phazes Fitness and knows a thing or two about healthy eating.  Click on the Phazes button to the right to learn more.)

Mom today I learned that, contrary to my excited hopes, the Miniature Market down the street...



...does not carry only miniature products.



Not at all.

Mom, today I learned that people need to be more specific about their instructions...and that I'll never get those 30 minutes back.

Mom, today I learned that if it weren't for the internet, I would never know how intense this is.