The Mother Load

Published May 21, 2005
St. George Spectrum & Daily News

It's 2005.


I just thought I'd let you know.

Ten years ago, Braveheart swept the Oscars. Ten years ago, the blue M&M candy made its glorious, chocolaty debut. And ten years ago, I met, courted, and married the man I still consider the best thing the world has seen since, well, the blue M&M.

Being in my tenth year of marriage is my newest "goofy happy thing," I think. In fact, ever since our ninth anniversary, last October, I've been so excited to be in my tenth year of marriage that I have yet to actually utter the words, "We've been married nine years." I skipped year nine and went straight to, "We've been married nearly ten years," and called it good.

Even though I know marriage is a journey and not a destination, the whole ten year thing creates the distinct feeling of having "arrived." (Upon learning that the symbol for the tenth anniversary is tin, I'm feeling like we've arrived in Funkytown, but that's neither here nor there.

Looking over the past decade of matrimony, I'm happy to say we've done much of what I had planned for us. From blind, newlywed bless to young parenthood to the settled comfort of double digits, we've had almost all of the experiences and honored almost all of the traditions I could have hoped for.


Almost...

Sadly, one very important detail has been overlooked in our happy time together. In all these years, through all our experiences, Aaron and I still have not acquired "our song."

It's shocking and shameful, I know! Week in and week out, I hold our marriage up as an example of true happiness and bonded bliss, and now you know. We're frauds!

It's not for lack of trying either. We've been on the lookout (or would it be "hearout?") for the perfect song since the moment we met, but none has ever caused the visceral, bells-ringing/angels-singing/heavens-parting kind of clarity we always assumed would accompany the discovery of "our song."

Maybe I'm making this harder than it has to be. Maybe other couples just hear something over the radio and say, "Yeah...that one'll work." Maybe I've heard "our song" every other week for ten years and never recognized it because I was waiting for a burning bush or a couple of stone tablets to spell it out for me.


Either way, I am resolved that by midnight on our 10th anniversary Aaron and I will have found a song that is the perfect musical expression of the love we share for each other. We will gaze deeply into each other's eyes every time we hear it play, and we will dance to it at our 50th anniversary party and bring tears to the eyes of our posterity.

So far, I've narrowed it down to Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious" and "The Hokey Pokey" but I'm open for suggestions.